Apartment Living
I've learned a few things since I moved to my apartment. Examine:
- How to sound as though you're moving furniture to the tenant below you at 2:00am every day.
- The enjoyment of dumping the trash any day you want to.
- The ability to wake someone next door from a sound and restful sleep by screaming obscenities at the top of your lungs at precisely 11:45pm.
- Free toilet repair service!
- How nice it used to be to have a washer/dryer in the house, this learned by having to schlepp across the street twice a week in rain, snow, sleet or hail to do laundry.
- No yard work!
- The virtue of disliking someone's spoiled, lying, smart-mouthed, doorbell-ringing-and-running, water-gun-filled-with-piss-shooting, peeping-tom'ish, playing-with-condoms-in-the-pool, obscenity-spouting, never-reprimanded 14-yr-old juvenile delinquent without remorse.
- No water bill!
- How lovely it is to search for a place to park after work. (I live in the bottom-first unit, the first parking space is MINE, dammit!)

Please...do feel free to leave your favorite things about apartment living in my new comments section :) Speak to me, my minion!