How many times does a person have to be humiliated, talked-down-to, treated as if she were second rate before she realizes that it will never change and she should stop allowing it?
Maybe even more importantly, when does it stop being his fault and become her own?
This is the person that I've always heard about - the one that I would never become. "Are you kidding? I would never allow someone to talk to me like that."
Seriously.
I have said that in conversations with 'the girls.' Someone mentions a conversation a friend had with her husband in which he behaves like a total shit, and you instantly begin to think of how you would never allow someone to talk to you like that...treat you like that...etc. You would throw the man out - or call the police - or cut off an appendage...whatever. Right? You've had a part in one of these conversations before. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
And you've said the same thing - "He wouldn't talk to me like that!" Me too. The difference between the two of us is that you probably meant it.
The truth is that we're not all push-overs. For some of us, it's that we just have one thing that we can't control in our lives - the way that our husbands talk to and treat us. Sometimes, it's gone on for years, and so therefore becomes much harder to recognize as being abnormal. It becomes second nature. You begin to believe that normal is feeling like you truly are 'pathetic' or 'a fucking bitch' or whatever the insult du jour is. 5 years later, there you are - stuck in a sorry excuse for a marriage and barely recognizable in the mirror.
If realizing what you've become isn't bad enough, then you have the family and friends to deal with. "I don't know how you put up with that. I'd have been gone long ago. Why do you stay?"
I truly don't know where to start.
Or how to end.
No comments:
Post a Comment