Made me think

I mean, really think.

Pardon me while I quote Jon at blurbomat:

"Until you stop seeing the sex, and start seeing human beings trying to figure it out, just like you, we'll never move forward. This is the burden of the conservatives. The progressives are mostly there. This is the civil rights burden of our time. It's not a rejection of God. It's not a rejection of religion. It's a rejection of hate, prejudice and ignorance. It's a rejection of the most evil part of any organized group, Jesus or otherwise."

Automatically, when thinking of gay/lesbian, I have always thought 'abnormal'. Why? I'm southern. Southern, and raised baptist. This ought to be explanation enough, but for those of you that aren't southern baptist-hip: gays and lesbians + any thought of such = sex, and not only sex, but unholy, immoral sex. That's just the way it is/was. Apparently mormons are raised in the same frame of thought.

I have been thinking that I'd really like to see Brokeback Mountain, but would wait until it came out on DVD so I could skip the bullshit at the theater. I mentioned to hubby that I'd like to go see it, and the face emerged...the one that says 'I'm a straight man.' As if I didn't know that already. As if I'd just asked him to perform in a drag show. The look that makes me want to roll my eyes and say "Get over yourself!"

Jon's post made me think: I really miss my friend Jimmy. Jimmy had been a friend of mine for many years. I'd known Jimmy was gay before Jimmy knew, or before he'd admit it. And admitting it took a lot. He even married a woman, and of course, it didn't work out. Jimmy was feminine, and was the reason for a whole new way of thinking for me. I was taught that it was a choice to be gay. So was Jimmy, but, this did not seem right. I remember feeling sorry for Jimmy many times...thinking that if there was ever a person that was meant to have been the opposite sex than he was when born, Jimmy was the one. He tried not to be feminine, but it was impossible. Really - not just an opinion - his breasts were large, his hips were wide...baby had back. And considering how big and burly he actually was, and, in contrast, how there was just simply no doubt about his sexual orientation once you met, talked, and spent time with him...I know Jimmy's was a very difficult life. So if it was a choice, why would it be such a difficult one? Why would one be born so given to the "wrong way to go?" But, Jimmy was always happy, always funny, and a joy to have as a friend. Truly the best person to have over for cheesecake and a showing/quoting session of Steel Magnolias or To Wong Foo. One of my very best friends, and those are few and far between. Jimmy, in his mid-20's, finally decided not to fight it anymore and gave in. He did some performances at a few gay clubs in Shreveport, and seemed to really enjoy it. I wish I had gone to at least one, I'm sure the pictures didn't do him justice..and come to find out Jimmy was GORGEOUS as a woman!! Eventually, Jimmy gave in to some bad influences and developed a problem with drugs...and constantly battled his weight, and it came down to a choice between life and stomach bypass surgery. He chose the surgery but the wrong surgeon, and died on Christmas Day a few years ago. What a loss, and what a shame that he died before he could experience the pride that so much of the gay and lesbian community are now able to celebrate after those like Jimmy suffered so much for it.

My thanks to blurbomat for making me think.